Bring out the CB

Delivery time, six Months From Now . . .



Oh no! I’m in labor! My baby will be premature! Quick! We need to go to the hospital. But the top premie care is at Mercy General!

Mercy General? LThat’s across state lines! Honey!

Remember Constitution study at the bar babe! Article four guarantees unmolested interstate travel under the Privilages and Immunities Clause!

I need to travel with expressed intent to give birth at the hospital of my choice in this free Republic where government power is exercised with the consent of the people so that my fetus will survive, which is most likely at Mercy General and the state cannot decide which hospital I give birth at!

Maybe it’s Brixton Hicks?

It’s not Brixton Hicks! And my chest and left arm hurt. Luckily Mercy General has great cardiologists. I don’t want to die during induced labor!

But baby the ambulances won’t take us all the way there and I can’t afford gas!

Quick hon! Use the life ride app! Drivers are vetted and know how important it is to get appropriate medical care for our baby!

Okok I’ll do that now!

Oh and honey I’m recording all of this for prosperity on my phone!

That’s nice honey.


CB radio: Breaker breaker this is Life Ride Alpha. Do you copy Jefferson county sheriff? Over.
Uh… That’s a 10-4. How you doin tonight? Over.
Uh we are good. Coming hot with a mama bear in labor need to get to Mercy General Hospital premie care for induced labor. Mama bear has pain in her left arm. Over.
10-4 you mean the old Planned Parenthood place that became Mercy General? Over.
We don’t know anything about that sheriff. Over.
All good Life Ride. This is an all citizen free state and in this county sheriff is an elected position to serve and protect.. Escort and ambulance are waiting at the border. You are all hereby deputized sheriff’s deputies with all rights and privelages. Sending duputy text to you now. Drive fast. Drive safe. Over.


We had a cb in our car growing up. Didn’t everyone?

Sheriffs are often elected.

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